It’s easy to accept that someone is proud of you when you’re successful. When you pass, reach your goal… of course people will be proud of you. But what about your failures? What about the times you didn’t reach those goals?
I want to tell you this… “I’m so proud of you”
Read that again. Absorb it. Accept it. I mean it.
For those of you who know me (if you don’t… read my journey here), you’ll know that this is not something I’d say lightly. I am not the type to tell you what you want to hear. I’ll tell you what you need to hear, and help you through the tough times… but I’ll always be honest, even when it’s what you don’t want to hear.
I had a chat to James Perry CA, Accounting Exam Coach, about how he sees students who fail, and whether he’d employ them.
Why am I proud of students who fail?
You chose to do it in the first place.
I know the journey, it’s tough. You knew it was going to be hard when you started… but you chose to try anyway. Thousands of people out there chose not to do it because it would be hard. You jumped in anyway.
You’ve made sacrifices to try something that you know isn’t easy
All of you have sacrificed to do this. Time, money, relationships, jobs, holidays, friends… you sacrifice these all the time. Every month, every week, every day… you make the choice to allocate your resources to studies rather than other ‘stuff’ in your life. Some of you have sacrificed from what you really don’t have to do this. I respect this.
You keep going, even when things go wrong
Yes, you’ll complain. Yes, you’ll cry and shout and vent about it… that’s totally understandable. But, you keep going. You sigh, and register again next semester, next year… to start all over again. Your goal is more important to you than the ‘bad’ feelings of failure. So many people would walk away, rather than face those feelings. I respect this.
You care, SO MUCH!
I’ve lectured THOUSANDS of students, (Mainly UNISA BCompt and CTA students) over the years, both face-to-face and online. The common thread for all of them… is how much they care about what they’re doing. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever come across a student who said to me “Meh, I don’t really care anyway…”
Of course, these studies are a path to a better career, financial stability (or buying your own island one day!), but the depth of your commitment to the work you put in is commendable. You don’t approach your studies carelessly. Perhaps sometimes, you care a little too much… I feel that too many students allow their studies to define them… it doesn’t! But, no matter what happens… you put everything you’ve got in there. I respect you for this.
You’ve tried something outside your comfort zone
Most of us prefer to stay in our comfort zones. Our brains like to keep us safe, and the easiest way to do that is to keep you in your comfort zone. Breaking out of that, to try something hard, and new… that doesn’t come easily to most people. Many, many people will find reasons not to try.
Somehow, you keep your sense of humour!
I know there are bad days… but I’m constantly impressed at how you encourage eachother, are able to laugh at yourselves for the stuff you know you suck at, and stay positive, rather than becoming bitter and resentful about your studies and the world.
Extra credit to distance students!
This is a special bunch of people, close to my heart. I’ve been there, so I know the challenges, the isolation, the uncertainty, the sense of constant ‘stupidity’ and fear. It feels like a constant ‘fight’. Fight for information, fight for help, fight for understanding, fight against your own fears, and sometimes… just the fight to open those stupid books when you REALLY don’t want to! For you… my heart is right there with you. I know you, like I know myself. I remember how I struggled. The tears and challenges. I respect you for doing this, and for that spirit that keeps going, even when you’re all alone and no one seems to understand why you’re hanging on so desperately.
I hope you really read this. Really accept this. Sometimes the journey is more important than the destination. Who you are, who you become, is more about the journey you’ve taken, than the destination you’ve reached.
And a special word goes out to the UNISA CTA students… wow. I’ve been there. Anyone who goes through that deserves credit. You put SO much of yourself into that. I respect that. I really do.
I don’t care if you qualify through CA(SA); ACCA; CIMA, SAIPA… or never get any letters behind your name 😉 That’s not as important as WHO you are…
and I’m proud of you
5 Comments
Wow thank you so much for that i really needed to hear/read it.
Thank yuuu so much for great motivation
Thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me. I am currently studying at Unisa and it is my 8th year doing the same accounting course since I failed so many times and this has caused me to be afraid that I am not going to make it and unworthy. I even feel like I am disappointing my parents. Hearing these words I cried. Thank you so much for these beautiful words 🙏🏻🥺
I always feel bummed because I’m a shiftee from engineering and I shifted to accounting. And everyone is laughing because why would I shift to another hard course. I personally like to challenge myself plus I chose accounting because I wanted to be with my friend. I know it’s a dumb reason but in my first semester of accounting, I kinda liked how things work and I think I’ll like it. But now I felt like I failed a test and all those doubts start to crawl again. I knew I tried my best studying for the test (heck I even help other students understand) and I knew could have done better. But right now I just feel bummed. I know the next lessons will be harder and I wasn’t sure whether I can pass.
But what you said really comforted me. Thank you. I fail to realize how far I’ve come, and maybe I just don’t have to think so much about the fear I’m feeling and just push forward. I’ll put my foot forward again and try.
Hi there,
I’m glad you commented, and I totally understand your concerns. It is a little unusual to change your entire area of studying to be with your friends, and in honesty, it’s not the smartest thing to do to prepare for your ENTIRE LIFE! You will continually build and walk away from relationships through the course of your studies, career, life and shouldn’t be making decisions according to what other people are doing just so you can be in the same room. That said… if it happens to be a decision you made, and then realised that you actually like it… that’s pretty random, but cool! 🙂
People around you WILL find it bizarre that you would change what you’re doing, mostly because they’re young, and have very little life experience. In the current world we find ourselves in, most people do, and will, change their careers to a small or massive extent over the course of their career. There’s a good chance that the career you will end up having in ten years time doesn’t even EXIST right now! The world is changing so fast! The stuff that I’m doing now didn’t exist 15 years ago. When I was studying and working and qualifying, the technology and processes and needs of students didn’t exist the way it does now… so I couldn’t ‘study’ for the stuff I’m doing now. It literally didn’t exist! 🙂 We need to be able to adjust, adapt, change, explore and consider what’s out there and how it affects us. A lot of us were raised in a world where the philosophy for success was something along the lines of “Pick a career, do your studying, get a good job, climb the corporate ladder, be loyal to your company, and you’ll be successful”. The reality is that this philosophy no longer matches the world around us. Studying is good, sure… but be prepared to adjust and change. Pick a career, sure, but be prepared that this may become obsolete, you may find something more interesting, you may end up making some massive change along the way. Be loyal to companies… in as far as they’re serving your needs as well. Don’t be too quick to jump around, but keep paying attention to your skills. Companies are very quick to complain that no one wants to be loyal or go the extra mile anymore… but they’re even quicker to kick your a$$ to the curb if their profits are down, if they’re restructuring the company, need to cut costs, and quite happy to work you to death in the service of their profits… so you have to find a balance between work ethic and paying attention to your needs. It’s a tough one.
If we assume that you’ll work until you’re 65… that’s a LOT of decades of work… you WILL make changes. The people around you who may laugh at you will also make changes along the way. It’s a little like high school… people make decisions and believe in the importance of things, and then a year after high school, no one cares or even remembers the stuff that was so intensely important. Your life is YOUR life, your decisions and the only one who will bear the consequences of your decision… is YOU! So… do your thing. 🙂 Strive to excel, to learn, to build skills, because no matter what area you specialise in, there are fundamental skills that you will need: The ability to learn new things, the ability to work through messy problems to find a solution, the ability to focus and concentrate on tough things, the ability to be patient with the learning process – ALL of these will serve you well in your future, regardless of whether you decide to be an accountant, a farmer, or an actor 🙂
Alrighty, your tests 🙂 Yeah, I know the worries… we need to separate exams from studying though. One of the things that’s bugging you is that you’re using your study questions and tests as a signpost of whether you’ll be able to do this. Was this the right decision? Will you be able to pass? This is not logical… it’s a little like saying that you shouldn’t go to the class until you’ve learnt the topic yourself. The entire reason you’re doing this process is to LEARN! And learning is slow, messy and needs work. This means that you WILL fail stuff. It’s part of the process. The sooner you deal with that belief, the better. You will be failing a LOT more tests and even exams before you’re done. So get over it 🙂 It does NOT mean you can’t pass… it means you need to change something you’re doing, ask for help, do some more… who knows. The point of studying and mid-year tests are to guide your prep. What do you need to change / work on / get help for? They’re not ‘signposts’ of whether you’re going to eventually pass.
So, your comment that you’re the one explaining to others, but can’t get questions right… that’s generally an indication that you’re spending more time on theory and understanding than on practicing questions. You know the theory, but you’re not practicing how to get that knowledge across in the tests. Time management, stress, application, communication, the formats and layouts… all these things take practice. The theory is one thing… but in the test, can you take your theory and apply it to THIS situation? And then a different one in the next test? And then another different one? That takes practice. You can understand stuff a little less, but you need to learn to USE the knowledge you have to PRACTICALLY answer questions… and that’s practice. Not one or two questions the week of the exam… a DOZEN or more questions, from the very beginning of the semester 🙂 It’s uncomfortable… but you seem to be able to get to the understanding, now you need to close the gap and practice using the understanding you have to answer questions 🙂 It may be as simple as PRACTICE 🙂 Be prepared to fail a bunch of questions while you learn HOW to use the knowledge the way they want it from you.
And also… be careful that you’re not spending so much time explaining stuff to others, that you don’t have enough time to practice stuff yourself. People will ALWAYS take time from you if they know you can help them, and since you’re clearly someone who values relationships, you may find yourself giving away time that you actually need for yourself 🙂
I wish you well on your journey… let me know how it goes 🙂